The True Meeting of Gilgamesh and Enkidu

Gilgamesh is in a struggle with a cute young blonde girl, he is attempting to have his way with her and she is trying to get away.

GILGAMESH: Stop fighting me and take it woman!

BLONDE GIRL: No!

GILGAMESH: Well I do not care! I am strong and beautiful and I want you so I will have you!

BLONDE GIRL: R – A – P – E, get your hands away from me! Don't rape me!

GILGAMESH: Too bad tiny female!

BLONDE GIRL: Fine, just make it quick.

Enter Enkidu and Harlot.

ENKIDU: Sup my bitches! (points to harlot) Yea, that's right. I tapped that.

HARLOT: It's true, he did. (winks)

Enkidu and Harlot notice Gilgamesh raping the blonde girl, and the blonde girl appeared to be enjoying it more than she thought.

HARLOT: What's this? A young hottie is getting plowed against her will by such a handsome man. That should be me! I object!

ENKIDU: Hey Gilgamesh! Do not have sex with that girl!

GILGAMESH: Why should I not? It is my divine right to have my way with this woman, and any woman because I am beautiful and perfect and better than everyone and beautiful and . . . stuff!

ENKIDU: I am just as beautiful and strong and perfect as you and I just had sex with this uber hot girl for, like, a week straight – and she liked it. (Spanks Harlot).

GILGAMESH: Oh yea, well I have made it with every woman in this town! Every virgin, every wife, every husband, every pet! And even your Harlot there, several times! So what now?

ENKIDU: What now? Now we shall fight. (slaps Gilgamesh)

GILGAMESH: Oh no you did not! Now I have to get all up in your kool-aid!

Gilgamesh and Enkidu engage in an epic slap fight.

ENKIDU: You are a formidable opponent!

GILGAMESH: And you fight with the strength of one thousand faeries! Did we just fall in love?

ENKIDU: Yes, yes we did.

GILGAMESH: I am strangely okay with this.

ENKIDU: As am I.

GILGAMESH: Let us go frolic in the meadow, pick daisies, and make love for many moons!

ENKIDU: I would enjoy that greatly!

GILGAMESH: Come Enkidu, come Harlots, let the four of us hold hands and skip merrily to the meadow and have lots of sex.

BLONDE GIRL AND HARLOT: (throws arms in the air) Yay!!

Gilgamesh, Enkidu, Harlot, and the Blonde Girl all hold hands and skip off happily into the sunset.