Friday, November 4, 2011

The Man Who Built the Wall

You probably remember me from that time I built that awesome wall around Asgaurd with my horse. Did you enjoy that tale? Well, I for one, did not! Building the wall was a task that I did exceptionally well at but was cheated out of my prize by that fiendish Trickster Loki. You see, all I wanted was to build a wall for these gods and in exchange, Freya would become my wife if I were to complete the entire wall within a period of six months. I didn't think that I was asking for too much was I? I mean, all I ever wanted, ever desired, was to win the heart of the goddess Freya - the most beautiful and perfect and sexilicious woman in all of the nine worlds. And I would have totally succeded if Loki didn't seduce my faithful steed. I was hoodwinked, hoodwinked I tell you! I have made two promises to myself, the first is to get revenge on Loki for ruining my life, since because of him I failed my challenge and am not unemployed and homeless in Midgard. The second promise is to restore my name and become wealthy and powerful so that I can win Freya over and make her my bride, because let's face it, if she will sleep with four dwarfs then she could at least marry me, the man who built the wall for Asgard! And then, just because they discover that I am a giant, the gods had to get to get Thor to crush my skull with that damn hammer. WTF Thor, that was rasist man.

4 comments:

  1. If someone ever asked me to build a wall within 6 months and then they would marry me haa they would have to be veryyyyyyyyyyy special

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  2. did you not see how fast i built that wall? did you not see how strong i was? just think of where else i can apply those skills!

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  3. Hey, don't get too cocky, you couldn't have built that wall without Svadilfari's help, don't forget to recognize you're wonderful steed.

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  4. wonderful? hardly! he ran off and got down with the first 'female' horse to spare him a passing glance... i tell ya that horse is going to see a glue factory pretty soon if he aint careful. he needs to check himself before he wrecks himself

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